Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Lies my mother used to tell me

  • When it's raining, you can run between the drops and you won't get wet.
  • Cows have shorter legs on one side, so that they can stand on hills.
  • Sneezing means you have dusty brains.
  • If you trip after you've done something not very nice, it's because Jesus pushed you.
  • You have to go to Mother School before you can have kids. (That's where they teach you things like The Voice, and how to have everything ready at the same time when you are fixing dinner.)
  • If you take that Highway 24 exit for Fish Ranch Road, there's a ranch where the cowboys ride fish instead of horses.


Caitlin said...

This all sounds sinisterly familiar...

the sister said...

Mother school had a huge impression on me. Mostly I was worried if she didn't follow the mother school rules she would lose her mother license and she wouldn't be our mother anymore. This mostly came up when I told her she wasn't fair. I either got the mother license bit or a simple "life's not fair." I prefer mother school.