Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Cuter than robots

I discovered while watching Wallace and Gromit videos with my girls that it was just what you might call “MST3K: Kinder Edition.” I always mean to take notes on their running commentary when we watch movies, and the other night when we sat down to watch Josh Ritter’s concert on NPR, I realized that I really needed to. So this is a self-indulgent blog post (I suppose that’s redundant), that got a little long, even though I tried to edit it down (so you don't know all the times they fussed that the other one was being too noisy or pushing or argued about whose turn it was for my lap). And also an example of why I don't take my children to anything but daytime concerts outdoors.

As the band takes the stage

Adriana: Wait. Are all those guys Josh Ritter?
Me: No, that’s his band. He can’t play all the instruments at once.
Lyra: I’m in his band.
Adriana: Mom, Lyra’s telling lies.

After a close-up of Josh Ritter

Adriana: His face looks all scratchy.
Lyra: I hope he doesn’t kiss anyone.
Adriana: I hope the first song is Snow Is Gone.

After a shot of Zach Hickman
Lyra: Can I have a mustache like that when I grow up?
Adriana: When will he sing Snow Is Gone?

During Wolves
Adriana: Hey, is this about the Wolves in the Walls? Does he read Neil Gaiman?
Me: I bet he does, but that’s not what this is about.
Adriana: [begins howling like a wolf]
Lyra: Stop that! I can’t hear the music! Mama, Adriana is a-noise-ing me.
Adriana: Mom, Lyra can’t say “annoying” right.
Me: Girls. Seriously.
Adriana and Lyra: [howl like wolves]
Josh Ritter: Wolves underneath the stairs/Wolves inside the hinges/Circling round my door/At night inside the bedsprings/Clicking cross the floor
Josh Ritter: [encourages audience to howl]
Adriana and Lyra: [howl like wolves]
Lyra: Don’t worry, Mama. I’m a coyote, not a wolf. Don’t be scared.

During New Lover
Lyra: New blubber? Is he singing about blubber? Hey, he’s got a song about seals and whales! How come he’s not saying anything about seals and whales?
Adriana: No, he’s saying “New lover.”
Lyra: I love you, I lover you, I lovest you, Mama.

As something goes wrong with our connection and the music and video both stop for a minute
Lyra: Keep singing, Josh Ritter! Now!

During Appleblossom Rag
Lyra: He said apple blossom! That is a flower that grows on an apple tree! Can I have an apple?
Adriana: This isn’t Snow Is Gone. When will he sing that?
Lyra: The blossoms don’t come until the snow is all gone.
Adriana: You’ve never even seen snow.

During Hopeful
Lyra: This song has a lot of words.

During Harrisburg
Adriana: The train song!
Lyra: Mister Mustache is singing!

From then on, anytime the camera focused on just Zach Hickman
Both girls: Mr. Mustache! Mr. Mustache Man!

During Joy To You Baby:
Lyra: I think he’s singing about his baby. Hey, Josh Ritter! Hey, Josh Ritter. Don’t kiss your baby until you shave. You’ll hurt your baby!
Adriana: I like this better than “Joy To The World.” I’ll sing this at Christmas. I bet Jewish people like it too, so it will be good for Hanukkah and Christmas. And maybe my birthday.

As To The Dogs Or Whoever begins
Adriana: It’s the underwear song!
Lyra; Do you think it’s about rocket underwear? I have rocket underwear. They are the best underwear in the world.

At the end of the show
Adriana: Wait, they’re leaving? That’s it?
Lyra: Where are they going?
Me: Just offstage. They’ll probably be back for an encore.
Lyra: What’s that?
Me: It’s where they come back and sing extra songs because everyone was cheering so much.
Lyra: Can I pick the song?
Adriana: It better be Snow Is Gone.
Adriana: This is still not “Snow Is Gone.”

After the concert ended (“Is really finished this time? Maybe they’ll come back again!”), the girls talked about how someday they would go to a real Josh Ritter concert, not just watch on the computer. I decided to keep the show I’m going to in Oakland a secret for now.